uccellodifuoco: How could he just forsake us? (004 - This is life that's so thankless)
Phoenix Ikki ([personal profile] uccellodifuoco) wrote in [personal profile] fierybluebird 2013-03-21 10:11 pm (UTC)

[Action]

Probably because there's nothing worth to tell. He was the man who trained me, if you call training to beat me to half death. He taught me a lot though, he taught me to let anger fill my fists when I strike, to use it as my strength rather than let it cloud my reason. He taught me to hate, to hate him, the world around me, myself... He was always "you have to hate everything, Ikki. Only then you can hope to become the phoenix".

[There's a brief pause before he adds.]

He killed Esmeralda, though that was my fault. Had I not dodged the strike wouldn't have hit her. Had I not hesitated to kill him before he wouldn't have launched that punch. And ultimately, had I not befriended her and made foolish promises to her she wouldn't have been there then.

I killed him right after she died in my arms, mad with anger, hate and pain. It didn't feel enough, neither satisfying. And then he told me about who my father was so I knew what he had done to us and how he had died already so I couldn't get any revenge back so... So I would always live with that hate and anger inside me.

[For a second it sounded as if he was going to say something else, but he doesn't. Instead he bites his own tongue and just finish the sentence nonchalantly. He doesn't explain about Esmeralda either.]

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