fierybluebird | [video] Back with the chocobos / All the jokes

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[video] Back with the chocobos / All the jokes

[In a scene that might be familiar to some, Marco is back in the barn, with five baby chocobo. Not quite so baby now, he might be able to fit one of them in a bag on his back, but not all of them. He can't even fit them all under one wing, but that's all right, the others he's dealing with in different ways. It might not be immediately obvious, but the loss of Ace is hitting him hard. Normally he'd go into a rage to kill things, but he doesn't seem to feel it's worth it.]

Ace's name is up on the memorial wall. He might come back... I hope so.

[There's a much too long pause in which he looks a world away and scoops up a chocobo fitted with a Spade collar.]

Ah so how about some bird jokes, eh?

You've probably all heard this one: Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why didn't the turkey cross the road?
He didn't want to be a chicken.
Why did the ducks cross the road?
To prove they could do it better than the chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
It was a double-crosser.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To prove he wasn't a chicken.

A phoenix walks into a bar filled with a bunch of turkeys. He gives them a polite nod and then buys everyone a round of drinks. They crowd around their new friend and offer some peanuts. "Gobble gobble gobble?" they suggest. "No thanks," he politely declines, "I'm allergic." They offer him pretzels. "Gobble gobble gobble?" He takes a few of those and they continue on for hours. Eventually they run out, and just as he was about to leave, they look him up and down and ask, "Gobble gobble gobble?" He gives them a horrified look and explains, "No way! I'm not into that!"

Why did the marines arrest the turkey?
They brought it on suspicion of fowl play!

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[He thinks for a moment.]

Don't think so. [Even if he did, he probably wouldn't be in the mood to say it.]

Two seagulls walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "What are you having?"

One says a seabreeze, but the other doesn't know. After some prompting he decides Sex On a Beach.

"I'm sorry," the bartender tells him, "We're out of peach schnapps."

"All right Parrot Bay Pinada," the seagull decides. The bartender gets it for him and the seagull asks "Where's the parrot to beat up?"

"Yeah," the first seagull says, "And where's my salty air?"

[Marco tilts his head. Drink puns to Luffy. Riiiight.] That one's probably worse, huh?

Yeah.....I didn't get it at all. [He picks up one of the chocobo and holds it.]

These guys yours?

Something like that. Their mother got eaten back in April so I said I'd look after them. They stay with the rest of the livestock though, not pets.

[Except he named them all, Haruta has a pink bow on her head, Spade has the spade collar, Fossa is the grumpier one, Vista is posh, and Speed Jiru looks more like a pig for a chocobo.]

[ooc: Took me forever to find this and it was Ashley who found it anyway.]

So now you really are a mother hen. [He's....being serious. NOT JOKING.]

[ooc: dkgskdg that is so cute.]

[Dryly.]

I've heard that before.

[Wow, okay, someone get over here and cheer them up.]

Well, you are a bird. And you worry about the rest of us a lot. You're just a hell of a lot cooler than a hen.

[Picks up Spade.] What's with the collar on this one?

Thanks I think.

That's Spade. He's very temperamental.

It was a compliment. Phoenixes are always cooler than hens.

Spade? Like.... Ace's old crew?

Most things are considered cooler than hens, but thanks

Yes. They're all named after my nakama. The one with the bow is Haruta because she's the cutest. And Fossa is missing a cigar, but it's there in spirit.

No problem.

...... [He'll just hold onto Spade here.] Which ones were they? I remember their faces, but not the names.

My brother Vista has the top hat and long black mustache. He's got two swords and he's fifth division commander. Flower sword Vista.

Haruta is the shortest of everyone. [Holds out a hand to even shorter than Luffy, maybe a little shorter than Japan.] And wears green and dresses like a frog prince.

Fossa is bald and has muttonchops and smokes cigars and has lots of scars.

And Speed Jiru is fast, and kind of knightly so he wears a tunic and uses a lance and shield.

Oh, I remember them. Damn, Haruta's really shorter than I remember. You've got some pretty cool nakama. A lot of them use swords, huh?

Aye. Izou and Curiel use guns. Fossa lights his sword on fire, Blamenco uses hammers from the pockets on his chin, Rakuyo's got a flail with teeth that bites things, and the rest use swords.

[He sets Spade down on his lap.] You guys sure know how ot use weapons. Do any of them know haki?

The commanders. The newer idiots can't even stay awake around Shanks. [ANNOYED FACE AND TONE. Shanks that annoying fucker.]

[AWW MARCO.] Heheh, yeah, Shanks has really strong haki.

Wait, he's met your crew?

Yes. [That's all you get for a response.]

And he helped me make Ace and my Pops' memorial. [Okay so a little more.]

--he did?! Wait, when did he get to Marineford?

Late.

He got me and the others out alive though.

How......late?

Good..... [Cause he would be pissed if more of you got hurt.]

Late-late.

... yeah. I guess. He ended the war. Saved some poor marine kid from Akainu and told us all to stop fighting. [Still mixed feelings about that. Their crew was infamous for revenge and they didn't get to exact any that day. But Whitebeard wanted them to live, not die trying to avenge him and Ace.]

...mn.

--he did? Do you know who? [He pauses and looks down at the ground.] ....I'm glad he stopped it.

[Shrugs.] No one high-ranking or I'd know him. Kind of a brave kid though since he tried to stand up to Akainu and even your grandfather didn't do that. [Only because Sengoku stopped him, but okay.]

Really!? [Shock.] Wonder who it was. Sounds like a good guy.

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