fierybluebird | [video] Back with the chocobos / All the jokes

[In a scene that might be familiar to some, Marco is back in the barn, with five baby chocobo. Not quite so baby now, he might be able to fit one of them in a bag on his back, but not all of them. He can't even fit them all under one wing, but that's all right, the others he's dealing with in different ways. It might not be immediately obvious, but the loss of Ace is hitting him hard. Normally he'd go into a rage to kill things, but he doesn't seem to feel it's worth it.]

Ace's name is up on the memorial wall. He might come back... I hope so.

[There's a much too long pause in which he looks a world away and scoops up a chocobo fitted with a Spade collar.]

Ah so how about some bird jokes, eh?

You've probably all heard this one: Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why didn't the turkey cross the road?
He didn't want to be a chicken.
Why did the ducks cross the road?
To prove they could do it better than the chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
It was a double-crosser.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To prove he wasn't a chicken.

A phoenix walks into a bar filled with a bunch of turkeys. He gives them a polite nod and then buys everyone a round of drinks. They crowd around their new friend and offer some peanuts. "Gobble gobble gobble?" they suggest. "No thanks," he politely declines, "I'm allergic." They offer him pretzels. "Gobble gobble gobble?" He takes a few of those and they continue on for hours. Eventually they run out, and just as he was about to leave, they look him up and down and ask, "Gobble gobble gobble?" He gives them a horrified look and explains, "No way! I'm not into that!"

Why did the marines arrest the turkey?
They brought it on suspicion of fowl play!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Obviously not. I mean, they're my pants.

Is that a trick question?

Weirdos.

No, I'm serious. Like if you have a national bird or something.

I'm glad someone agrees. [ Huff. ]

I actually don't. [ He was going to elaborate, but he's honestly thrown by the idea. ]

None at all? Got a favorite bird? I know! Make it a phoenix!

[ 'Don't tell me what to do!' Thankfully he bites back this retort. ]

I do like phoenix. [ He seems thoughtful. This is an improvement on 'irrationally angry.' ]

Your call. England and China both like them though so you could show them up.

Implying there's something better?

Well, they don't have a phoenix as their bird representative, right?

That says more about them than you, yeah?

I know. That's why you should get a phoenix for your bird representative.

I'll talk to my people when I go back home, how's that?

Sounds like a plan. [Gives a whistle now that he's there.]

[ Appearing at the window and giving the thumbs up, then coming around to open the door. ]

Hey.

Yo.

[Gestures a wing outside. It should be noted that Marco is wearing his usual pirate clothes, despite the cold. Complete with sandals and unbuttoned shirt.]

Ready to go beat somethings senseless?

More than ready. [ Might just come on out. He is dressed though, thankfully. ]

Still feeling angry I take it? [Stretches his arms and flexes knuckles.]

Yeah, way angrier than I should be. [ In person, he does look a little like he's stewing. ]

Any idea why?

[Leads for the forest.]

I have no idea. [ Following close behind, looking over his shoulder once or twice. ] It's annoying. Like an itch you can't scratch.

That does sound frustrating. Japan's all obsessed with salt though. So I guess the scientists are up to something.

You're not feeling weird then? [ He shoves his hands in his pockets, looking at Marco. ]

[Shrugs.]

Maybe it's because I have the appetite of a bird. [Oh ho ho. So witty with the puns today :|]

[ But he kinda misses the point. ]

Oh? Something in the food...?

More like a craving for food. Or other things.

That's just gross. [ He doesn't like the idea of being messed with. And it doesn't make his wrath issue any better either. ]

(no subject)

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