fierybluebird | Ace and Sabo are gone // Written, Action

[The first few times Marco tries to find his voice, he can't. This is what Robin, what everyone tried to warn him about isn't it? And he didn't listen. He always refused. Even if his father had been here and told him the same things, he wouldn't have listened to him either. At first he tries to seek solace in the rooftop, the memorial for his Pops, but today, not even that is enough. Where can he go other than "home?" And home is no longer CH3. It is still Luceti, scattered throughout his loved ones, but other than Leanne, that describe CH3 now.]

[He opens the journal and tries to speak, but he can't. So he winds up writing instead.]

Happy Post-Valentine's Day to anyone. I hope many happy couples found each other and no one was too disrupted.

[His hand shakes, and then clenches and the pen breaks. Too angry, so much rage. He uses the bottom half of the quill as best as he can to write more.]

My little brothers, [A long pause. He looks up at the flag and... it's not enough. Nothing is.] are both gone. Even knowing that every single day they had here was extra time, and as grateful as I am for that, they deserve more. I can't tell you they've gone to a better place, because they haven't.

[The last thing Sabo saw before his death was fire. And Ace died crying and smiling at the same time.]

But they're in good company I guess.

[Good company? He was jealous of them, still, even now. He had a huge fight with Ace about it, but he was jealous. Ace was jealous that Marco could be with the living, and Marco was jealous that Ace could be with the dead, could protect someone he loved that deeply by dying for them, something Marco never could. It was a dumb thing to be jealous about, but even knowing how infantile it was, didn't make it go away. It's a good time to go get a new pen. So Marco jumps down and goes to the item shop, finds a pen and right there, in middle of the shop, sits down on the floor and continues.]

I've lost a lot of nakama before, but Ace's affected me the worst. He brought with him a new era. He saved the man who will be the New Pirate King and renounced the world's idea of villains and heroes. [Marco sets the book and pen down so he won't break them again and it's all bit before he picks them back up.] In legends, phoenixes are supposed to herald the changing of eras, but I hate it. Mankind's eras in my world are tragically majestic things, but what use are they to an individual?

I'm not going back to the apartment for a long time. And I might move when I'm ready. I took the important things with me, but I'm not going back there.

Luceti is still my home. Make no mistake, I'll fight forever for my right to stay and the right for anyone else who wants to stay. I always will. That's who I am.

[He needs to talk to people, to try to comfort them in the wake of Ace's absence, in the wake of Sabo's, but all Marco wants to do is fly away. It's too cowardly though, so he won't. He wants to switch into phoenix form and stop feeling anything, but that's also cowardly and he know Robin's been trying to break him of the habit.]

If you think you can find me, you can try, otherwise, say the word and I'll come find you. No promises about the state I'll be in.

- Marco

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[Oh god. Don't cry, then Marco will cry too!]

I'm glad.

[Strangely that's true though.]

...Would you like some company, phoe--Marco-san?

[Perona supposes she can stomach being around him for this. In fact, Marco's never really been too much of a bother, just when he opens his mouth and says unnecessary things to make her mad. But right now, it seems they both need someone they can lean on.]

[He hesitates. What he WANTS is to run off to the mountains, find a cave and stop talking to everyone ever. But he knows it's not what Whitebeard, Ace, and Sabo would respect from him. As much as he wants to say they've lost their rights to have a say, he still does want to make them proud. And by the same respect, he doesn't want to lose respect for himself by being a coward. He made the post for things like this and maybe she needs a shoulder to lean on or at least someone to talk to.]

Thank you Ghost Princess. I'll be at the tea shop if you want to stop by, but don't feel obligated.

I'll be there shortly.

[Meaning she'll be taking Cerberus for a ride. Her doggy always manages to cheer her up a little bit when she sees him, and when he gives her a few cuddles. Perona's really not feeling all that hot at all right now, though, so even a bit of affection for the three-headed monster canine isn't enough to wipe away the empty feeling. That poor boy...her first real friend... Why did--those filthy scumbags! It'snot fair!

Perona's grip tightens on her Bearsy doll, and she tells Cerberus to pick up the pace a little as they travel. She doesn't want to get to the tea shop with her makeup all disgusting and runny. No, she can't cry in front of someone like Marco, either. It'd be humiliating. She can't...and she won't.

Sadly, when she arrives at last, she's just wiped her eyes clean of her eyeliner and mascara - she can reapply it later. It was a little too hard not to cry - most in frustration and anger. Tch, the Celestial Dragons...worthless stains on the world...better off dead themselves, if it weren't for the Saving Grace of their precious World Government.]

[Marco is just hunched over his tea almost like it were a rum. He's nursing the cup like it was a bottle, and looks about as deadpan as you might expect. Unflappable. The phoenix. First division commander turned captain of the once largest, most powerful crew in the world.]

[But to anyone who knows him well enough, it's pretty obvious he's having a really rough day. No tears, but tired. His shoulders are hunched like a man who's carrying the weight of that large and heavy crew, the weight of the islands, the weight of the sorrow of losing the wind beneath his wings. For Marco, he looks like shit. And even scruffier than usual.]

[It's not that Perona knows Marco enough, but misery loves company, and can recognize good company a mile away. She takes one look at him and knows the state he's in - it's much akin to how she herself is feeling now. Her expression is equally stoic, as she steps toward him, taking a seat at his side.

Perona doesn't bother introducing herself, there's no need for it, and she can't really be bothered either way. Plus, the Whitebeard Commander looks like he needs a minute to compose himself some. She can grant him that, at the very least. But she will order some red tea for herself.]

Cheers to two lives well lived, eh?

Cheers. [Perona lifts her cup a little, then takes a particularly long sip. It burns, and she knows she'll regret that later, but right now, the only thing she can feel in that burn, and it feels good in her cold and empty state.] ...You were very lucky to have knows them both as well as you did, phoenix-san. I envy you.

[Even though she was still a little unsure about Ace, he was a decent enough guy, and she never did agree to his execution. Or the reasoning (or sheer lack there-of) behind it. It was a charade, a facade played out by the World Government to tear down a pillar upon the sea. Those fools.]

Thank you. [Must not cry in front of enemy. Must not cry in front of enemy. Must not cry...]

[He blinks a little shutting the tears out and cutting them off at the source. Deadpan, numb, phoenix, he would be aloof and he couldn't be pulled down to where mortals tread.] While it will never feel like enough, I'm still glad they had a chance to share your company as well, eh?

[She wouldn't begrudge him for it. In fact, Perona's doing and thinking much the same - she's just gotten a little bit better at being quiet about it, or closing off until she can be alone to cry.]

Mm...I really only knew Sabo-kun enough for it to really count. [They were friends; Perona spoiled him and loved him very much.] Fir--eh, Ace-san I didn't know very well at all. ...And I think a part of me never wanted to.

[She looks down into her teacup, watching her reflection waver in the hot liquid.] But he wasn't as bad, or as frightening, as I thought he would be. I think I was even beginning to like him...a little.

Ace often had that effect on people, eh? He always surprised people, and people who got to know him well couldn't help but like him.

I wish I'd been able to see that when I first met him, but it took me a little while. Pops saw it instantly, eh? I don't even know how. [Though he has some good idea.] They were both a lot like that. And a lot alike for that matter.

Mm, I know someone a little bit like that. [Or more than one, actually. The entire crew of the Straw Hats seem like they're more than Perona thinks they are. Annoying little things they are, a good portion of the time, but they're not so bad. A few are likable enough. She assumes Ace is much the same.

She's quiet when Marco begins talking about his father, but she does watch him from the corner of her eye. Perona can't say much about Whitebeard as a person, but he was a great pirate, even she can't deny that. It'd be a huge and very obvious lie.]

A pity I didn't have more time to look. ...You're not so bad yourself. Sometimes. Though you still frustrate me endlessly.

[That actually gets something close to a grin out of him.] I try.

[Deadpan. He might be lying, or completely honest. It's hard to tell really.]

[Bastard. Perona gives him a flat look, her lips forming a thin line. She's also half tempted to hit him upside that oddly shaped head of his, too. Fortunately for them both, she resists the maddening urge.]

Peh, I wish you didn't.

I know, Ghost Princess. That's why I keep at it.

[...

Yep, whacking him upside the head now. :|]

Shut up and drink your tea.

[Smug grin.] Don't order me around, eh.

[But he drinks his tea anyway, because tea is good and he already knows he's won.]

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