fierybluebird | [video] Back with the chocobos / All the jokes

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[video] Back with the chocobos / All the jokes

[In a scene that might be familiar to some, Marco is back in the barn, with five baby chocobo. Not quite so baby now, he might be able to fit one of them in a bag on his back, but not all of them. He can't even fit them all under one wing, but that's all right, the others he's dealing with in different ways. It might not be immediately obvious, but the loss of Ace is hitting him hard. Normally he'd go into a rage to kill things, but he doesn't seem to feel it's worth it.]

Ace's name is up on the memorial wall. He might come back... I hope so.

[There's a much too long pause in which he looks a world away and scoops up a chocobo fitted with a Spade collar.]

Ah so how about some bird jokes, eh?

You've probably all heard this one: Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why didn't the turkey cross the road?
He didn't want to be a chicken.
Why did the ducks cross the road?
To prove they could do it better than the chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
It was a double-crosser.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To prove he wasn't a chicken.

A phoenix walks into a bar filled with a bunch of turkeys. He gives them a polite nod and then buys everyone a round of drinks. They crowd around their new friend and offer some peanuts. "Gobble gobble gobble?" they suggest. "No thanks," he politely declines, "I'm allergic." They offer him pretzels. "Gobble gobble gobble?" He takes a few of those and they continue on for hours. Eventually they run out, and just as he was about to leave, they look him up and down and ask, "Gobble gobble gobble?" He gives them a horrified look and explains, "No way! I'm not into that!"

Why did the marines arrest the turkey?
They brought it on suspicion of fowl play!

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[Japan's eyes sort of widen just slightly at all this, but he only shifts to give Marco more attention, staying quiet. As far as Japan was concerned, all this getting off Marco's chest was good. Healthy. Helpful... If painful. Right?]

I am glad he was here, as well. [There's a gentle tone to his voice, and he takes Marco by the chin to make him face him instead of his wing. His free hand thumbs away some tears from Marco as he watches him steadily.]

Even like this, Marco is still strong.

[Well, it means he's certainly not in denial at least. Though somehow the gentle touches just make him cry more. He shakes his head almost wanting to tell Japan he's wrong, but no, Marco is sure he's strong, so then why. Why wasn't it enough?]

I still failed him. [It's deathly quiet and the tears are stopped, only making the words that much more still. The four hardest words Marco's ever said in his life. Because it wasn't just him, it was all of them. They wanted to see Ace happy, and that had been completed. But somehow they'd let him think Blackbeard was his responsibility alone and trying to convince him otherwise was too little too late. Except, that was on Blackbeard's head wasn't it? Even still, Ace should have been free and happy and loved and Marco wanted to fight for that dream a million times over until it created some sort of lasting permanency.]

I do not usually speak when I disagree, but... [He just watches with a soft frown, leaning in and wrapping his arms around Marco slowly in a hug.]

You did not. [He's positive. Japan is so positive Ace realized he was loved, and there was a part of him that was happy. His nature was more similar in to Japan's that he had this bittersweet tone to it, but he realized...

But Marco being home rather than here was something good for Marco. Japan could see that too.]

Marco and the rest of Ace's nakama gave him meaning. They made Ace realize he was loved. Please do not forget that.

[Hugs.]

I haven't forgotten. [Clenches a fist behind Japan's shoulder where it's resting.] But for only a few moments... and then here... Here I still don't know it ever sunk in with him.

[Rests his head on Japan.] I wanted him to live so much... to see him through to his dreams... I guess I did a little. [Shivers.] Fuck... don't I have the right to miss him too?

Of course you do. [It's still strange to use "you" sometimes, and that sentence is one of those times especially but. It's Marco. And Japan will make any move he can to show he cares.]

...I believe it did, though. [Sink in with Ace, he means. It was hard to see, but he firmly believed that...] Ah, but... [Still hugging Marco, he tightens it a bit so to prevent him from pulling away if he would.]

...You loved him, after all...

[Blinks and it's a good thing Japan's holding on tight because Marco was about to back up there. Instead, he tries to take his hand and nibble on his neck to distract himself from feeling only pain and loss.]

Not like you. Like loving the rain, or the smell of a campfire. You... Ah... just because I miss him doesn't mean I love you any less Bushido. I've never wanted to go back in time to spend more with Ace, but I do with you. So I could try to steal every second of your day. Because for you even 20,000 isn't enough. For Ace, 4 just seems too cruel. Understood?

[Although, he's not sure that he's not jumping the gun, he doesn't want Japan to feel jealous if that's what this is. Having now been very jealous over Japan, he knows how much it sucks.]

I'm glad you're back. I'm sorry... for being that selfish.

[He keeps holding on just for that reason. And Marco's right, but that embarrasses him. Or he feels ashamed? Something like that, though the words do help a bit.]

...Marco is not the selfish one. [Just that comment about giving his life for Ace's had struck something, and now here he was getting caught up in his own words like "you loved him"... He wants to sigh, but he holds it back.]

I am sorry... [That Ace is gone. Or maybe that he was selfish. Both, but he left it open for that reason. And his grip finally loosens on that hug.]

[Just takes a deep breath and tries not to cry.]

Don't be. Just don't let me go, eh? Fuck... I don't know what triggered this now of all... [Shifts about trying to get comfortable. He can't decide if he wants to pull Japan into his lap and just curl phoenix wings around him or be the one hugged himself. Finally, he decides on the first one and sets the smaller man in his lap with vibrant blue wings around him so he can bury his face in the crook of Japan's neck.] This is what I get for loving a human, right? And all I can do is protect Luffy.

Ah Japan... don't let me go. I don't want to be me right now, but I do want to be me with you. [Somewhere in his head, that makes sense.]

[As he's pulled into Marco's lap, he forgets his brief silly thoughts and raises a hand to reach back and hold that head there by his neck. After all his talk about being an old man, Japan only has a select amount of moments that display him speaking true to that manner. And this is one of them.]

It is this sort of life that we have, to watch others fade away, even if they were not ready to. [He pulls his hand back into his lap slowly.] Ah, they will come and go like the seasons, and of course there will be sorrow...

But I will be with Marco. Surely I was meant to return before he left. So I could be with Marco.

[Gulps and nods. It doesn't make the pain go away, but it helps. More than just that Ace wouldn't want him to be upset; that just made Marco frustrated at this point. But having a goal to keep stepping forwards to, someone to look after, that he needed most of all.]

Hai. Thank you love. [Hugs tightly and leans his head against Japan's.] I think this is the first time it's felt permanent. Back home... I was too busy dealing with trying to keep the crew together and the islands and Blackbeard and Shanks... here he was here from the day I got here. Even when he felt a million light years away, he was still just an arm's length away. [And he was only mad at Ace now because it hurt.] I guess I don't deal with pain too well, eh. [Because he could always cheat and turn into a phoenix before when he wanted to.]

Mm... [He takes in that hug with a slow breath.] I do not believe this is ever something that can be taken well.

Ah, but I will help with what I can... [Even though he didn't know what to say right now. It did seem permanent. It sort of was, right? Sort of...]

You are helping. You help so much Bushido.

[Hugs and clings tightly.] Before it felt like a black hole deep in my gut that was eating me from the inside out. Like Blackbeard got to me without even touching me. Now, it's just a weight around my shoulders. Like you said, I just need time right?

Ah this is embarrassing... I suppose you don't cry often, eh?

[All of this hugging and clinging... He still looks back on it and thinks, wow I can do this sort of thing now? But anyway, he's surprised that he's helping, and surprised that Marco admitted it was embarrassing. Plus that question...]

Ah... time. Yes. [A pause.] It would be troublesome if I cried each time I was upset. [...that's a reasonable answer suuuure]

But I do not find anything wrong with it. Is it embarrassing even if it is just me...?

[Admitting he's embarrassed about crying is a lot easier than admitting he's terrified. Which he is, though a little less now that he's got Japan in a position he feels like he must protect him.]

No, I suppose not. Just for you, it's okay. [Tilts his head to give a quick kiss to Japan's cheek.] You're upset that often then?

[He blinks calmly and considers that]

I would not say I am upset often, but saddening thoughts are quite easy to come to mind. That is just my nature, I believe.

You mean you're morbid. [Another kiss to his cheek.] I already knew that. [And likes it anyway. He doesn't mean it's a bad thing at all, just is what it is.]

[gdfsgdshgfdhsgf] I-it is not morbid! I enjoy the beauty of bittersweet things and the like!

Bushido, love, that's what people call morbid.

[He frowns at that for a bit but then tries to move on]

...In any case, I try to avoid such outwardly visible things like crying.

Edited 2011-12-07 17:51 (UTC)

[Tightens that hug, instantly soothed by it.]

If I can cry around you, you should be allowed to cry around me. Only fair. It can be... bonus points. Fifty for every time you get me to cry.

[Marco... what are you getting yourself into??] And vice versa, eh.

Uwah, so many points for such a sad moment... [But is that a certain gleam to his eyes NO... He turns his head to peer at Marco. Of course he can think of sad-but-not-sad moments to make Marco cry.]

Is Marco certain about that?

Of course. [Kisses Japan's chin. Hahaha... idiot. Marco thinks the joke's on Japan. Because Marco thinks he himself never cries, but seems to get everyone else to cry for him. At least. Often. So even without his favored coping mechanism of avoidance and protecting his family and busying with that; he's convinced he won't cry much anymore. Maybe once on Whitebeard's birthday, but he didn't last time, so he will make it through definitely.

Little does his realize that Japan is an evil masterminds at experiencing and conveying emotions :| Even to this normally composed deadpan idiot. And even to Hong Kong which is saying something.]

Hm... [He's just sort of amused by it all but he leans to give Marco a small kiss just under his eye.]

[Blinks! And then blushes slightly, but happily. Oh kissing his tears away... dokidoki... wait a minute... -_-' This better not be a salt thing. You fiend.] So it's a deal? [Snuggles.]

[HAHAHAHAHA]

Of course. I cannot refuse such a quick advancement to leveling up.

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