fierybluebird | [video] Back with the chocobos / All the jokes

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[video] Back with the chocobos / All the jokes

[In a scene that might be familiar to some, Marco is back in the barn, with five baby chocobo. Not quite so baby now, he might be able to fit one of them in a bag on his back, but not all of them. He can't even fit them all under one wing, but that's all right, the others he's dealing with in different ways. It might not be immediately obvious, but the loss of Ace is hitting him hard. Normally he'd go into a rage to kill things, but he doesn't seem to feel it's worth it.]

Ace's name is up on the memorial wall. He might come back... I hope so.

[There's a much too long pause in which he looks a world away and scoops up a chocobo fitted with a Spade collar.]

Ah so how about some bird jokes, eh?

You've probably all heard this one: Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why didn't the turkey cross the road?
He didn't want to be a chicken.
Why did the ducks cross the road?
To prove they could do it better than the chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
It was a double-crosser.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To prove he wasn't a chicken.

A phoenix walks into a bar filled with a bunch of turkeys. He gives them a polite nod and then buys everyone a round of drinks. They crowd around their new friend and offer some peanuts. "Gobble gobble gobble?" they suggest. "No thanks," he politely declines, "I'm allergic." They offer him pretzels. "Gobble gobble gobble?" He takes a few of those and they continue on for hours. Eventually they run out, and just as he was about to leave, they look him up and down and ask, "Gobble gobble gobble?" He gives them a horrified look and explains, "No way! I'm not into that!"

Why did the marines arrest the turkey?
They brought it on suspicion of fowl play!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[None of Marco's jealousy is healthy ever.]

And all you want is salt? [Kind of halfway to on top of Japan now. He is the barrier between Japan and the salt. And he will break up this love fest with his fists.]

[TRUE... and wow Japan notices being blocked from his salt. But uh, what is this...]

Y-- [wait] Ah... Is Marco worried?

No.

Well... maybe a little.

[Deadpan holds up to fingers to Japan's neck to check his pulse and heartbeat rate. And not so sneakily blocks Japan in with a leg.]

[Hilariously his heart rate is increasing quite a lot now because he's going oh no is marco worrying IS HE GOING TO TAKE THE SALT]

T-there is no need to worry! And Marco is fine, right? Ah... I can handle salt, surely!

[Eyes narrow and pulls back to give Japan breathing room.]

What did I say about any little stimulation?

[>>.........grabs a cracker]

W-why does Marco continue to speak so bluntly... I am fine, I assure you.

[Takes it out of his hand :|]

Oh? Then you won't pass out if I do this? [Leans up and doesn't even kiss his cheek, just hovers extremely close, letting his breath lazily drift against Japan as he crumbles the cracker into crushed pieces back over the plate.]

[gfjkdsgkjdfhgkfdsjhgjdfkghsdf

oh gosh there is a marco in his face-- AND HE WAS GOING TO EAT THAT-- and that breath is really close-- SERIOUSLY WHAT A WASTE, IS HE GOING TO DO THAT TO ALL OF THEM-- is he going to do anything else or just stay there oh gosh-- HE REALLY WANTS TO GRAB ANOTHER CRACKER

.......................]

I-I am still... awake...

[Nibbles his ear.] Touch those crackers again and I'll break your hand.

[No he won't, ever. He'd sooner lose a wing than hurt Japan, but it's a test to see if Japan will risk it anyway. Besides, maybe with his deadpan threatening voice it'll actually be believable. And a broken hand might be better than a heart attack. Or would it??]

[This obsession has broken all logic. He doesn't even stop to think Marco wouldn't do that. He just focuses on the fact that he's potentially being stopped from having salty snacks...!!! He instantly gets a panicked face and places his hands on Marco's shoulders to sort of hold him at a little distance.]

Why?!?! At least let me have one! Just one!!!

[And yet again, he immediately caves and lightly flicks off as much salt as possible before handing it to Japan stoically and sighing.]

What am I going to do with you?

[Sits back in bemusement.]

[All too quickly, Japan takes that unsalted cracker and leans over to poke it into Marco's mouth and kiss him on the cheek, grabbing a salted one with his free hand.

And then he's leaning back and eating it HUFF.]

...Marco should enjoy it with me.

[Swallows ruefully.]

I'm a phoenix, not a parrot. [All the deadpan ever.]

Besides, weren't you worried about Taiwan mocking you for getting out of shape?

Ah... That would happen regardless.

[He's thinking so hard on how to get Marco to side with him. Eventually...]

How about like this then. [And he puts a cracker just a bit into his mouth...

And then points at it expectantly.]

[Blinks and sideglance in surprise.]

Ah, you don't need to train me like a dog, Bushido. [And yet for all that, he still leans up and breaks half off with his own mouth. So as to save Japan from the salt, he tells himself.]

[Noms the rest with an innocent blink]

Eh? I just want to share such a thing with Marco...

[Doki doki.]

Really? [NOT QUITE BLUSHING, but he's very touched and actually believing all of this alskdjaklsdj]

[LOL well he does want to share it with Marco! Though the first reason is so he can eat salt, the second is so maybe Marco can stop the weird jealousy too.]

I thought that much was clear. Will I have to creatively find another way to do so...?

[Sideglance.]

Is it going to take me by surprise and earn a power up?

Not now that Marco is expecting something... Hah.

[Laughs and gives Japan a cracker.]

You're ridiculous. I love you in every single possible way, but you're still ridiculous I hope you know.

[Takes that cracker.. and EATS IT]

What is ridiculous about it?! [He legit finds himself normal and boring :|]

You're completely content... gorging on crackers. And you don't even know how this would seem absurd to anyone. You also chose salt over every other kind of vice I could think of. [Spreads his hands with a shrug.] My apologies Bushido, but it is all rather quite ridiculous. In a completely adorable way. [Ruffles. Oh Japan, you could never bore Marco. At least not now that he knows better.]

[Closing one eye at the ruffling]

Hahhh, it is not as if I chose to become so fascinated by it... This sort of enjoyment is troubling enough without this sort of enhancement. [Still not finding himself weird LOL]

...I do not believe I am adorable, either.

[Grins wickedly and leans in close, and then lightly tugs Japan's cheeks.]

What would say decides whether someone is adorable or not?

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