fierybluebird | [video] Back with the chocobos / All the jokes

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[video] Back with the chocobos / All the jokes

[In a scene that might be familiar to some, Marco is back in the barn, with five baby chocobo. Not quite so baby now, he might be able to fit one of them in a bag on his back, but not all of them. He can't even fit them all under one wing, but that's all right, the others he's dealing with in different ways. It might not be immediately obvious, but the loss of Ace is hitting him hard. Normally he'd go into a rage to kill things, but he doesn't seem to feel it's worth it.]

Ace's name is up on the memorial wall. He might come back... I hope so.

[There's a much too long pause in which he looks a world away and scoops up a chocobo fitted with a Spade collar.]

Ah so how about some bird jokes, eh?

You've probably all heard this one: Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why didn't the turkey cross the road?
He didn't want to be a chicken.
Why did the ducks cross the road?
To prove they could do it better than the chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
It was a double-crosser.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To prove he wasn't a chicken.

A phoenix walks into a bar filled with a bunch of turkeys. He gives them a polite nod and then buys everyone a round of drinks. They crowd around their new friend and offer some peanuts. "Gobble gobble gobble?" they suggest. "No thanks," he politely declines, "I'm allergic." They offer him pretzels. "Gobble gobble gobble?" He takes a few of those and they continue on for hours. Eventually they run out, and just as he was about to leave, they look him up and down and ask, "Gobble gobble gobble?" He gives them a horrified look and explains, "No way! I'm not into that!"

Why did the marines arrest the turkey?
They brought it on suspicion of fowl play!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You can be sad too, eh? [NORMALLY Marco wouldn't encourage sorrow, but jegus Japan, stop trying to kill yourself with salt.]

Bushido, how much salt do you think one person can eat before death occurs? [You even set down his cuteness weapon in lowering blood pressure!]

I am quite sad. [Just folds his arms and nods. ...He is, but he's not properly showing it, is he...

But the salt thing. Oh gosh.]

[unfolds his arms for occasionally dramatic hand signs and flails]

As a country who cannot possibly stop eating things with salt, I can survive this sort of thing easily! Why should one stop eating the things he enjoys?! Is salted salmon wrong?! IS IT WRONG?!

[So salt is the replacement for Ace. He sees... except not really.]

If you choose death for it, it is! [And it is REALLY FREAKING EXTREME when Marco is the voice of reason about cutting back. Given the dealio with his Pops and alcohol.]

Death... [Imagining all those reports from the doctors. But then imagining the horrifying diets he's tried. No... HE CAN'T... He's been fine this far!!!]

I can't eat only tomatoes! I cannot! It will only make things worse!

[Facepalms and then kisses Japan. He can't help it, he's too cute. And by cute... he means ridiculous. But that is what Marco likes.]

Love, you don't have to only eat tomatoes. Surely there are other foods you like that don't require salt.

I can't just stop eating things with salt! [LOOK AT HIS DISTRESSED FACE. LOOK AT IT.]

You don't have to quit cold turkey! Just cut back slightly.

Besides, if you eat all that salt you have, you won't have anymore for your collection. And if you're going to eat it all, I'll throw it in the lake. Seriously.

[GRABS HIS SHIRT or whatever IN DESPAIR]

D-don't do that! Marco is joking right?! He wouldn't do something so cruel, right?! Cutting back is out of the question!

[orz. He can't do it. He loves Japan too much, and he's kind of an enabler of all things.]

As long as you don't die. Anything else is fine... [Tugs into a firm hug.] Where would you even find more salt? [You strange little man.]

...................Surely I can ask others.

[He's going to be posting doing anything for salt, please stop him before he talks to strange people LMAO... But for now he's hugging Marco.]

Will Marco come home?

Ah... yes. [He wasn't meaning to sleep out there, but he's still a little worried about the five with winter approaching.]

I might bring them inside. [Still torn. Marco doesn't keep birds as pets. It's a rule he has. Dogs are pets and friends and Stefan is his special fort! But birds are meant to be free and... well chocobo are different maybe? Or are they?] What do you think? [Resolve his dilemma.]

[Oh. He steps back and gestures to another chocobo in the barn. HIS which has grown a bit...]

Momo stays here. There are those who care for the barn, and there are ways to stay warm. Chocobo are used to staying outside. I believe even without their mother, they have each other.

[Kind of sulks. Okay. Chocobo stay in the barn, and yeah they can handle cold, and sure they're mostly tough. BUT STILL. He was kind of hoping Japan would tell him to bring them along for a day or two. But then again, maybe it would make them too reliant on him and he's not a mother hen.... /sigh]

But it's cold. [Woobly eyes. For Marco.] And I've been the one taking care of the barn with Rika gone.

[Silly Marco. Japan thinks the barn is better for them. PATS HIS CHEEK.]

I am sure it would be helpful if Marco wished to take care of the barn, but that is where they should stay. Leave blankets if you must. I can help Marco with that sort of thing...

Ah... In our apartment, it would just be cluttered, and I am not sure if we would get much sleep.

Ahh... All right.

[SAD FACE NONETHELESS. HIS BABIES JAPAN ;;]

You better keep me from getting lonely though, eh. [Nibbles an ear lightly. In punishment.]

...Can I be paid in salt?

[JAPAN HAVE YOU NO SHAME!!! ...Not for this event he doesn't oh god]

[Flat stare. Finally just deadpan.]

Maybe I'll just stay in the barn...

[LMAO that's enough to snap Japan out of his salt craze...]

W-what sort of response is that?! [worried face]

[Kisses and gently nuzzles.]

Kidding. Of course. [Well, now he is =\]

Tell you what, I'll make you a giant salt castle if you draw me a picture of yourself.

[HIS WEAKNESS... he will literally do anything for salt right now it is horrid. He actually visibly twitches.]

...W-what sort of picture?

A happy one! Doing something you love.

[Embarrassing... but.]

Ah... I can do that.

And I won't show it to anyone.

Not even Tatsumi.

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